Crush Personals Relationship Advice

Experimental Sex – Advanced

Sex is fun - but experimenting is better.  Nothing beats trying something new, whether you do it for yourself when single, or whether you want to spice up and strengthen a relationship. Maybe you meet a new guy on an online dating site - or maybe you just want some inspiration for a little sexy chat - so what can you try?

Disclaimer: These are not listed as "advanced" due to any complication in their performance - so much as that you need to be very comfortable with the person you try these with.  Two complete amateurs can try these out, what matters is that you're both aware and willing and trust each other.

Advanced:

• Record your Memories: There are many ways to do this actually!
  • For example, using a voice recorder or other device to only record the audio - it serves as a sexy stimulus whenever you hear it.  If you want to tease your man, you might make a ringtone of your orgasm for when you call him or just send him the audio via your phone (so when he hears the message, he'll know what you're thinking about.
  • Alternatively, use a photo camera - taking turns switching who takes the photos.  Note that one of things that even celebrities admit is that what looks good isn't always what feels good - so don't be ashamed to pose for a few high-quality visual pictures during foreplay.  If you're cautious, avoid photographing your faces (or you can be even kinkier and come up with a couple masks to conceal your identities).
  • And then film - video.  You can put the camera to sit someplace or one of you can hold the camera for a POV (Point Of View) perspective to all the fun!  You both need to be very careful that the footage doesn't end up in the wrong hands (although note that its usually illegal to post such content online without consent forms - so even a vengeful ex needs to be careful about what they do).
• Have Stealth(!) Sex Outside: What do I mean? Easy!
  • Sex in the great outdoors isn't illegal - usually public order offenses are about taste & decency, so nothing forbids you from a romp on a beach, a park, a lake - wherever - as long as people aren't coming through.  And even then, its rarely enforced - as long as its discrete, many (but not all!) will simply nudge you to take your fun elsewhere.  We've even heard of couples in snowy regions building impromptu snow-caves for quick spot!
  • Alternatively, if you're an exhibitionist, you might try a more populated area - the excitement is in the risk of getting caught.  Getting frisky with each other in the living room (if its a shared home), sex with an open door, touching each other under the table in a restaurant or during a car ride - wherever opportunity arises.  Some couples actively enjoy being watched, while others try to skirt the issue and see how far they can avoid detection.
• Where No Woman Has Gone Before: Believe it or not, there are straight guys who enjoy a little attention... back there.  It has nothing to do with being gay (he does prefer a woman after all, right?) and instead has everything to do with the amount of nerves back there (which is the same reason women can enjoy anal play).  And then - of course - there's the prostate (so in actuality, if you think its normal for a girl to experiment back there a little, then guys have more reason to).
  • Next time you're going down no your man, think a little lower - the perineum - which is usually the hairless bit between his bum and his testicles.  You can suck him normally as per your routine, and let your fingers grasp his balls - and maybe stroke the perineum subtly.  Or if your oral play includes attention to his balls - some girls suck on those as well - you can give his perineum a quick lick to test his reaction.
  • Like Inception, sometimes you must go deeper - beyond the perineum, straight to his butt.  If you want to test the waters, you can gently massage and tease it in circular motions as if you were playing with yourself.  Some girls initiate by doing this to his balls, stroking forward as a way to 'accidentally' massage the balls, perineum and butt in one stroke.  Some guys out and out won't mind a finger - remember they have more sensitivity there than you.
• Like Anal? Try a Butt Plug: Some love anal, some hate it - although to be honest, usually its more an issue of stress and comfort than anything (meaning the more you try it, and the less you freak out, the less tense you will be [which is what causes the discomfort] and the more you can learn to enjoy it [because you can focus on the good].  But what if you're already comfortable with it and want to try something new?  Get a butt plug!  They're different from dildos because a butt plug usually has a flared end which ensures it can't go too deep (or get lost).  Start small, use lots of lube, go slow and clean toys after use.
  • Some couples use it similar to a dildo (but again - the flared end is an important difference)
  • Some couples enjoy the tension it provides (a feeling of fullness, and perhaps you enjoy vaginal sex during)
  • While others use it as a prelude to anal play (letting you engage in all sorts of activities while getting your bum ready).
  • And of course, if he feels daring, your man can try one too...
• Strap one on: There are all kinds of fun reasons for using a strap-on.  Lets say, for instance, that you're dating a guy.
  • Want a threesome with another girl?  Then one of the females can wear the strap and serve as a "pseudo-male" for certain positions, and you can have fun seeing what sex feels like as a man, playing the dominant role.
  • Does he suffer from erectile dysfunction (too much stress, too much alcohol and dozens of other issues can be the cause) - well, no joke, we've heard stories of guys (often drunk) using a strap-on to fulfill the deed and please their girls.
  • And then there's full on domination and role reversal - requiring a very trusting relationship or open-minded man.  If you've already tried massaging his bum or even using a toy, you can use a strap on him.

And as a disclaimer, although I have nothing against gay men, it should be noted ladies that none of these things are exclusively 'gay'.  Attraction has a lot to do with pheromones, body chemistry and actual desire - and if your guy doesn't like guys, then a little anal play does not make him gay.  Most of these ideas have to do with the fact that men are more sensitive back there (think of his prostate like your g-spot) and some guys simply like dominant women in bed - and there are two variations to this:

• Some guys are used to being dominant or aggressive or 'masculine' in their day to day - so its different, 'exotic', a thrill to have someone dominate them.  This works great for females who are used to being submissive and want to blow a little steam.  Doing it together - in fun - is great.  Just remember a safe-word.
• Some guys have no desire to be submissive - instead, they get tired/infuriated/repulsed by what they consider too-girly, too-frail, too-submissive women.  In public life, you two might be a perfectly normal couple - but in the bedroom, he wants you to get aggressive (and this will only encourage him to get more aggressive).  It's a win/win scenario of "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" style lovemaking.